What's the best thing about Switzerland?

I don't know but the flag is a big plus.

What did God say after He created Adam?
"I can do better than that." And so, He created woman."

I finally realis that people are prisoners of their phones, that's why it's called "cell" phone.

Hear about the new restaurant called karma. There is no menu, you get what you deserve.''

Today at the bank an old lady asked me to help check her
Balance so pushed her over

If he doesn’t appreciate your Fruit joke
You got to let that MANGO!!!

Which is the most religious cheese?
Swiss, because it is holy.

''Sometimes life surprises us in the most unexpected ways, and we just have to embrace those moments of bliss and happiness when they come our way. So here's to celebrating small wins and being thankful for the good things in life!''

I have many jokes about unemployed people. Sadly, none of them work

What is the other name for long-term investment?

A failed short-term investment.

I got fired from my job in waste management.
The only thing I managed to waste was time.

what did the chicken say to a hot day?
"am an fried chicken"

What do you call a chicken staring at a lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad.

When they got there, they ask him to heal their diseases. The healer says he will, but they need to get their hands on the body part they want to heal.

The woman starts to put her hand on her neck because her throat hurts and she doesn't want to go. The husband looks at his wife and then puts his hand on her crotch.

The woman looks up and then says, “Honey, he said he would heal our diseases, not raise the dead.

If words hurt
Then a picture must be a death sentence.''

My teacher pointed at me with her ruler and said that at the end of this ruler is a dumb. Then I asked which end and I got a detention.

Wow, the wedding was amazing! The cake was super cool because it had layers on top of layers. It was like a tower of cake!

what get wetter the more that dries.

its a towel

A plane crashed in the jungle and every single person died. Who survived? Married couples.

Why do we tell actors to break a leg ? because every play has a cast.

if you can cross an apple with meat ,you are likely going to get a beacon.

How do all the oceans say hello to each other? They wave!

Why did Samson try to avoid arguing with Delilah?
Answer: He didn't want to split hairs."

I screw,I nut and I bolt. it is tough being a Mechanic.

Maybe money can’t buy happiness, but I think it’s only fair to give it to me to learn that lesson myself.

"if you want to be sure that you never forget your wife's birthday, just try forgetting it once."

They say we learn from our mistake

Once a guy buys a car, BOOM!!
Automatically Girls turn beans, they will be like, "BABY COME AND PICK ME"

''The idea of cutting corners to save time and money might seem appealing, but it can come back to haunt you. Without a solid base, everything else will eventually crumble under the weight of its own shortcomings. So the next time someone tries to take shortcuts or skimp on quality in the name of expediency, just remember that laughter won't fill in the cracks later on.''

So there's this guy who goes to the doctor and says, "Hey Doc, I can't stop using Twitter. I think I'm addicted! And the doctor says, "Sorry, I don't get it.

Why is 'Dark' spelled with a K, and not a C?
Because you can't C in the dark.

Why was Tomato on a motorbike?
He was trying to ketchup with his friends.

What did the boss say to the employee who asked for a raise? "You better work harder or you can afford a pay cut.

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta

And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.”

But John came fifth and won a toaster.

I shocked Mosquitoes yesterday.
I opened the door all of them
rushed entered ,then
I locked them inside and slept outside.

How can you tell the ocean is friendly? — It waves.

Some people have said that I’m a spoilt and pretentious rich kid that doesn’t have to work, but they don’t know my struggles. For instance, I really don’t like my Boss.

When they return after a week the mentor asks them how much they lost.

The wife begins, "I lost 10 pounds".

"That's amazing! Well done, and you?" He says, pointing at the husband.

"Well, I actually gained 10 pounds", the husband responds.

"Oh, that's no good at all. How did that happen?" asks the mentor.

"I bet my wife a tenner she wouldn't lose any weight this week".

What did Daniel tell his real estate agent? "I'd prefer a house with no den."

What do you call a sad strawberry?

A Blueberry

"Why did the belt get arrested?"
A:He held up a pair of pants!

Why did the actor fall through the floorboards?
They were going through a stage!

Q-How do you make God laugh?
A-Tell Him your Plans.

Life can be full of challenges, sorrows, and tough decisions. But even amidst hardship, the Lord counsels us to be strong and courageous.

What's orange and sounds like a carrot?

A parrot.

Riddle: What do you have to break before you can use it?
Answer: An egg

Question: Why was the password not accepted?

Answer: It didn't have enough capital.

How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say cheese!

How does a vampire start a letter? “Tomb it may concern

There is a fine line between a numerator and denominator, and only a fraction of people will appreciate this clever play on words.

" What did the classmate say when asked why they kept walking next to the same person at school? "I was told I'm supposed to walk by Faith!"

Started hating the cat \ud83d\udc08 boom, cobra into the house \ud83c\udfe0 then how can hi Siva?

PROPER TEA
Q: Why do Communists drink herbal tea?

A: Because proper tea is theft.

Some times you won't understand why
No body wants to drink a tea without any sugar
But everybody enjoy drinking water

Until you realize we don't expect anything additional from
Natural things.

What is red and really bad for your teeth?

A Flying brick

''Michelle was a remarkable person who had a unique way of looking at the world. She appreciated the little things in life, seeing beauty in the simplest of things like a gentle breeze or the sound of birds chirping outside her window. Michelle had an eye for detail and found joy in small gestures and acts of kindness.

Her appreciation for life's simple pleasures was infectious, and she often inspired others to adopt a similar positive mindset. Even on tough days, she kept her spirits high by finding something good in every situation. Michelle's ability to appreciate every little thing made her stand out among her peers and left a lasting impact on everyone she met.''

People say nothing is impossible but I do nothing
Every day

What did the daughter corn ask the mother corn?

Where's popcorn?

what is a spinning potato called?

A ROTATE-o.

" Sometimes you lie in bed at night and you don't have a single thing to worry about, that always worries me ".

Why did the IT guy quit his job? He didn't get arrays

Never invest in Waste Management companies
All of those companies are trash

Do you think old age is about age old."

I'm so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed!

What’s the one thing you’re always guaranteed to get on your birthday?
A year older." - Alesandra Dubin and Elizabeth Berry

"What did the DNA say to the other DNA?"
A:Do genes make me fat?

The first thing Tebza Da Guiter did, during their session to impress Nkosazana's Daughter was to smile and play his guitar unnecessarily so.

What sits in front of the mirror and gets smaller and smaller?
My self esteem.

Why do ducks have feathers on their tails? To cover their buttquacks.

The Kenny Kunene shooters must be Bafana Bafana players...their shots don't don't hit the target
@tumisole

What does the lion sat to his family before they eat the meal? " Let us prey"

Q-What's a soccer player's favourite drink?
A- Penal-tea.

Have you ever wondered what kind of car Jesus would drive if he were alive today? Well, some people think he would drive a Christler! Get it? It's a play on words between "Christ" and "Chrysler. It's a funny joke that some people like to make. But really, we don't know what kind of car Jesus would drive because he lived a long time ago before cars were even invented. So, it's just a silly joke to make us laugh.

This one time, I got so hammered..., and woke up 3 days later in some cave" Jesus told his story to the children." Jesus narrate his story to the children.

i had a dream about the whole ocean was filled with orange soda

turns out it was a fanta sea

The son asked his old father;" Dad how much did it cost you to get married?"

The father responded;" I can't tell because I'm still paying. "

What do you call a pony with a cought?
A little horse.

What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits

when is the perfect time for the cattle to go to sleep?Pasture bed time.

Never laugh when your hungery
Can hunger can will swallow you

Imagine my wife telling me to go out, she want to dress up, my own wife mmmm

What did the policemen say to his belly button?

You're under a vest

The brother was sleeping in church on Sunday when suddenly he heard "...stand up", so he stood up and everyone clapped. And then the pastor said, "So, who else will join our generous brother in giving us 2 Million?
He just fainted...

An ant that is coming from overseas is called important.

Be thankful you woke up this morning.

which step have you reach today

Why do beets always win?

They are un-beet-able.

Never confide in a vacuum cleaner. They’re always collecting dirt."

When Life gives you lemons, as an infopreneur make a lemonade and sell its recipe on Mihub''

When life give you pineapples

ADD RUM!

What did 0 say the 8? Nice belt.''

What did the fish say when the swam into a wall?
Dam 97 funniest fish puns joke's and one liners to
Share with others

What do you give to a sick lemon?
Lemon-aid

What does LOL means? Lot of loadshedding.

"What do you give to a sick lemon?"
A: Lemon Aid!

Rivers love streaming so much that they subscribe to Netflix"

When Oscar Pistorius said he wanted to be just like able bodied athletes, who knew he meant OJ Simpson?

My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex. They're his watch dogs.

what did one traffic light say to the other

stop looking\ I'm changing