I don't miss them. I just stare at it and don't answer.

My credit card company is super nice, they really help boost my self-esteem. They always tell me I have an outstanding balance!''

Why did the cow jump over the moon? The farmer had cold hands.

Travel- funny but serious

Why did the banker divorce the accountant?

Waste management

What kind of ties do pigs wear? Pig sties

…the shepherd who drove his sheep through town and was given a ticket for making a ewe turn?

…the nurse who was chewed out by the doctor because she was absent without gauze?

…the crustacean accused of promoting his own shellfish interests?

What is the difference between a golf ball and a BMW?I can drive a golf ball 200 yards.

Q: Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?
A: Yes – a building can’t jump at all.

What did the mama cow say to baby cow?

"It's pasture time."

Sorry to disturb your scrolling , is it true that your mother is the most beautiful woman in the world,

What do you call blueberries playing the guitar?
A jam session

While South African players showcase their skills to push time...overseas players play push push at the corner flag."

What's worse than raining cats and dogs on vacation?
Hailing taxi

So, did you guys hear about Little Michelle's joke on working hard? Apparently, she was asked how she managed to do so well in school. And guess what her response was? "Well, I work really hard." Classic! But jokes aside, there's actually a lot of truth behind her answer. Working hard is the key to success, whether it's in academics or any other area of life.

It's not about being a genius or having natural talent; it's about putting in the effort and being disciplined enough to stay focused on your goals. Sure, some people may have it easier than others, but ultimately everyone has to work hard if they want to achieve anything worthwhile. So let Little Michelle's joke remind us all that success doesn't come easy - but with a little perseverance and determination, we can make it happen.

A father had a naughty and irresponsible son. One day he climbed into the ceiling and went to the fathers prayer room and waited for the father to pray. The father was praying that God should deliver his son from the devil. The son pretended to be God answering the prayer. He said, "Timothy!!! Timothy!!! I have heard your prayer, but first I want you to give your son $3000." He answered ,"yes Lord I will do as you say." The son in the ceiling jumped out excitement and fell right on father's head.

You may share all your secrets with me. They can be safe with my friends

What should Rabbits say before they sleep?

“Lettuce eat”!

Have you ever seen a player commiting and foul and denying it? Well...except in soccer ofcouse."

Imagine the elders of Israel worshipping idols in the house of God, saying to themselves that God does not see them. They thought they were hiding in the inner rooms from the actual Owner of the house

What did one math book say to the other? “I’ve got so many problems.”

Want to hear a construction joke? Oh never mind, I'm still working on that one.

Where do frogs deposit their money?

In a river bank.

"Why should you always knock on a refrigerator door before opening it?
In case there is a salad dressing.

What do you call a group of hackers? A code of conduct

How does Moses make his coffee?Hebrews it''

Why did a chicken carrying a tin can cross the road?

The recycling bin was on the other side.

A banker recently drowned in a river. It was a river of cash''

What's green and has wheels?
Grass I lied a about the wheel's

Why are Republicans overweight?
So they can own the lbs.

A farmer had a monkey and a chicken. He gave a banana to the monkey but the chicken ate it. The monkey then swallowed the chicken. When the farmer asked the monkey why he ate his chicken, the monkey said," I ate the banana in the chicken."

Why did the student eat his homework? Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake

What did Jonah's family say when he told them about what happened before reaching Nineveh? Hmm, sounds fishy.''

Grandma: Back in our days, you could buy bread, milk, soaps, spices, eggs, meat, all for a dollar.
Little Kid: You can’t do that now. They have CCTVs everywhere!

Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"

Because every play has a cast.

Q: Do you know why a cow jumped over the moon?
A: A farmer had cold hands.

I went up to my Dad and asked him if I could watch TV. He said I could, but he told me not to turn it on.

''Take action towards achieving those goals by taking small steps every day. Become familiar with new information and skills, do research about job markets or entrepreneurship opportunities, and invest in yourself through education or training programs. Accept setbacks as opportunities for growth and keep a positive mindset throughout the journey.''

KNOCK KNOCK?
Who’s there
BROKEN PENCIL
broken pencil who?
NEVER-MIND ITS POINTLESS

Hey, did you hear these funny jokes about music? Check it out! What do you call a bug that loves music? A humbug! Haha! And, what did the guitar say to the musician? "Hey, pick on someone your own size! That's hilarious! Oh, and why did the composer break up with his girlfriend? Because she kept changing the key! LOL! Lastly, what do you get when you mix a musician and a snowman? Frosty the Snow-trombone! That's so silly!

My Life is a romantic comedy romance and just me laughing at my my own jokes

Why is a football stadium always cold? It has lots of fans!

What is a pretzel’s favorite dance?
The Twist

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing, it just waved.

My Dad works at the waste management plant...
He says the pay is rubbish.

My parents called a meeting just to tell me I'm really well-suited to my environment? I don't remember exactly what they said, but it was something like "son you're adapted"

Why do programmers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs.

I could not get my fridge to this morning,so i took bus instead

"What does Jeff Bezos do before he goes to sleep?"
A:He puts his PJ-Amazon.

If you think no one cares about you, try missing a couple of payments

When is medicine first mentioned in the Bible? When God gave Moses two tablets."

Question: What did the blanket say to the bed?''
Answer: Don't worry I've got you covered.''

Man: Two years ago, my brother ran for Congress.
Friend: What does he do now?
Man: Nothing—he got elected!

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? " He just needed a little space."

Q: Dad, can you put my shoes on?
A: No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.

All was going well in the bus, until one passenger open his bag and said one of his snake was missing.

The difference between golf and government is that in golf you cant improve your lie."

Forget your partners birthday once, and you will never forget it forever.

A cow in an earthquake is called a milkshake.

Why did the farmer win an award? He was outstanding in his field!

Succeeding in life requires a combination of hard work, perseverance, determination, and positivity. Beautiful thoughts about succeeding in life can help us stay motivated, focused, and inspired.''

Why are people always tired on Earth Day? Because they just finished a March"

Hear about the new restaurant
called Karma?
There's no menu:
You get what you deserve.

. “My mother always used to say: The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana.”

Question: Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot?
Answer: The thought had never entered into his head before.''

Two guys stole a calendar. They got six months each.''

"How do celebrities keep cool?"
They have many fans!

Recycling joke

If internet had a boat,where would they park it?Google Doc.

What do you get when cross an elephant with a fish?

Swimming trunks.

Q: Why is a math book always unhappy?
A: Because it always has lots of problems.

Low self-esteem is life through life with your hand-break on.
Maxwell Maltz

What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses? A coconut on vacation

What a cow favorite subject in school?
cowculus.

Cyber Security Funnies: Who's the Login, What's the Password, Security

Although he may not be human, its still good that Messi thinks he is"

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire. That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.”

Why did the tomato blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing

How do you know when an accountant is on holiday?

He doesn't wear a tie and comes after 8 am.

What did Moses say when he saw people worshipping the golden calf? "Holy cow!!! "

Short wife will kill me one day, Imagine she was offline for two weeks because her phone was put on top of the fridge.

"I felt super exhausted after giving blood. It's such a draining procedure."

Why did the bullet end up losing his job?He got fired

Enjoy your weekend

What's happens If you take the five o clock Train
Hom? you have to give it back

I was walking down the street and I punched of a white guy and then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing, it just waved.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage

How can you tell the ocean is friendly? It waves

Why did the fish get bad grades?
Beautiful it was below sea Level

When potatoes have babies, what are they called?
Tater Tots

What language does the clock tock? Tick."

Recycling

What always leaves tea? Tea leaves."

Q:What farm animal keeps the best time?
A:A watch dog.

Fat people are harder to kidnap

"Why did the gym close down?"
"It just didn't work out"

Q: What’s black, red, black, red, black, red?
A: A zebra with a sun burn.

I feel uncomfortable around short people, They are too close to my pocket.