Someone asked me about my background and I gave a detailed reply, telling him about my education, career, relatives, hopes and dreams.
Turns out he just wanted to know what was behind me on our Zoom call.

My sister is always on my case about cleaning my room. And i always tell her "My room is not dirty, I just have everything on display. Like a museum."

What did one pickle say to the other? Dill with it.

Where do Cows like to go on vacation?

Moo York!

Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs

What was Moses' wife Zipphora, known as when she'd throw dinner parties? "The hostess with the Moses."

A man went into a seafood restaurant and asked for a lobster tail. The waitress smiled sweetly and said, “Once upon a time there was this handsome lobster…” —Horse & Rider

The first-grader inquired his mother about the reason behind Daddy's daily routine of bringing home a briefcase full of papers. His mother responded, "Daddy has an enormous workload that he can't complete during the day, so he has to work late at night to finish it."

The child pondered for a moment and then asked, "Why don't they assign him to a slower group?"

The mother chuckled at her child's innocent suggestion and explained that Daddy's job requires him to handle a lot of responsibilities, and he is doing his best to fulfill them. She also added that Daddy's hard work helps provide for their family and enables them to enjoy a comfortable life.

In conclusion, the child's curiosity and innocence led to a heartwarming conversation between mother and child, highlighting the importance of hard work and dedication in achieving success.

What kind of investments does a clown make?

Laughing stocks!!

watch out for what you watch, dont trust easily

You heard the rumour going around about butter?Never mind,I shouldn't spread it.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Annie.
Annie who?
Annie body home?

So, there's this guy who goes up to his boss and says, "Hey, can we chat? I've got a problem. And the boss is like, "Problem? Nah, we don't call it that. We call it an opportunity! And the guy's like, "Uh, okay. Well, I've got a pretty big opportunity to drink a lot.

How do you drown a hipster?

In the mainstream.

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments."
FLIP WILSON

What does God call his nose?God knows."

Atoms make up everything, you can never trust them."

Atoms make up everything, you can never trust them."

"Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me."

A raw chicken strip dreams of being cooked and enjoyed one day
Until then, it's just a pre-tender.

Why do avocados get depressed?
Because they feel Pit-iful

What makes oil to boil? It's b."

What are twins' favorite fruit?
Pears

Go to the gym and find the one lifting the heaviest weights!

What do you call a high ranking soldier who hates recycling?
General Waste.

"What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?"
This tastes a little funny.

Your mother is a woman. Yes papa go deeper man of God

What did the clitoris say to the vulva?

It’s all good in the hood!

Why is the bullet not at work today? He got fired.

I HAVE A FEAR OF SPEED BUMPS....

BUT I AM SLOWLY GETTING OVER IT.

While you are focusing on the funeral, You sou this Father who is sewing shoes and wearing yours!!!

Good morning drink water and mind your business!!!

What social event do spiders love to attend? Webbings.

What did David have in common with Hamilton? He wasn't going to throw away his (sling) shot."

Teacher: Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor?
Student: You told me not to use tables.

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is"act natural, you're innocent."

Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship.
As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”
George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”
Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?

Why don't elephants use computers?

Because they're afraid of the mouse!

Why did the photo go to jail?it was framed

How do celebrities stay cool?they have many fans

I'm not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together. Read more: https://www.legit.ng/1204924-best-funny-jokes-girls.html

''Changing someone's life is not just about giving them external opportunities but also about boosting their internal strength. This means giving them emotional and mental support by being a good listener, confidant, and supporter. Often a listening ear can make all the difference in someone's life.''

Can you fix broken tomatoes? Yes, make them into a paste

What did one traffic light say to the other?
Stop looking I’m Changing

A man bought a trouser and on the label it was written wash and wear.When he got home he washed and put on it while wet.The wife asked him why he was putting on a wet trouser.He answered, " I am following the instructions. "

What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A PIE-THON

Why use odourless deodorant?

It makes no scents!?

When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said four. I don't think I can eat eight

soccer will amuse you, watching a bunch of players running away from their last man (goalkeeper)

They laugh at me because I'm different.I laugh at them because they are all the same."

Why did the blue jay get in trouble at school? For tweeting on a test!

My friend works at recycling centre crushing soft drinks cans all day
It's soda pressing

Nothing ruins your Friday more than realizing it's only TUESDAY!

You don't have to marry for money, hang around the rich and marry for love.'

I tried to teach my dog to dance today... He's hopeless. He's got two left feet. ... We will never run out of ...

Q: What kind of jewelry do rabbits wear?
A: 14 carrot gold.

A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.

Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”

“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”

Where do cows like to go on vacation?

Moo York!

Those Grandmothers of yours who chew the spirit are not eating our future?

Six-year old Ned's mother was looking through an old family Bible when an oak leaf fell out. Ned said," I guess that might be Adam's shorts."

Did you hear about the first restaurant to open on the moon?

It had great food, but no atmosphere

How do you tell if an accountant is an extrovert? If he looks at your shoes when he talks to you instead of his own.

Heat makes things expand.........
So I don't have weight problems......
I'm just hot

I don't understand people who don't recycle, why would you buy a bike and only ride it once''

Why did a golfer bring two pairs of pants?

In case he has a hole in one.

Grandma: Back in our days, you could buy bread, milk, soaps, spices, eggs, meat, all for a dollar.
Little Kid: You can’t do that now. They have CCTVs everywhere!

Cloud security

A man was bragging to his friend in church of how the wife loves him and carries his picture in her purse even if she doesn't have money. While the friend was still wishing how his wife could love him like his friend, the Pastor made an altar call for anyone who had a serious challenge to bring it to the Lord, the wife went in front with the husbands picture.''

Why do you always have to knock the refrigerator before opening it?

Incase the salad dressing

Three robbers robbed $3 million from the bank. They agreed to share equally while each in his heart wanted to get all the money. When they bought drinks, each poisoned the others' secretly. By the time they finished drinking they were all dead and left the money.''

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife's birthday, just try forgetting it once.

Now I know Why some women do not watch soccer. they say "If I want see a bunch of guys struggle to SCORE for 90 minutes, I just go to my local bar."

What is a room with no walls? A mushroom.

"What do you call a person who is happy on Mondays?"
Unemployed.

Got a new job as a garbage man but there's no training .
The boss said I'll pick it up as I go.

What do you call aligator with an investment account.?

An investigator.

Where do bees like to go on vacation/?
Stingapore!

I have finally decided to do something about my weight.....
--Lie

A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”

“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”

"I'm not calling you, I'm calling the white girl." The story of cream started there.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

What do sheep wear to the beach?

A man is talking to God. "God, how long is a million years?" God answers, "To me, it's about a minute." "God, how much is a million dollars?" "To me, it's a penny." God, may I have a penny?" "Wait a minute."

son : Dad, do you have any dreams you want to accomplish?
dad : I gave up on my dreams years ago kiddo, but let's focus on yours
son : oh, but how many years ago exactly did you give up?

dad : well how old are you?

What did the pig say to the Sun?
I’m Bacon!

A man is on the top of a mountain praying to God. As he prays, he suddenly hears a voice that says "jump". Terrified, the man looks around but doesn't see anyone. He then hears the voice again "jump, I will catch you". The man then gathers his courage and finally jumps off the mountain. As he falls, he sees a cloud that looks like a giant hand, and as he gets closer a giant hand really appears and catches him. The man then realizes that it was God who saved him and he thanks Him for it. God replies, "I didn't save you, the hand was just there to catch you."

I had a job interview at the city recycling centre
"Why should we hire you?" They asked.
"Have you seen my jokes posts?" I replied.

Parents who are not into sports are a disaster, my friend's mom always thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basket ball team."

Who was the fastest runner in the race? Adam, because he was the first in the human race.''

Sandy’s mum has four kids; North, West, East. What is the name of the fourth child? Sandy, obviously!

A man fell asleep as the Pastor was preaching in the church. The Pastor was raising funds for the building project. The Pastor said, '' All those who can sacrifice their houses for God, lift up your hands.'' The man woke up and saw his neighbour with a hand up and he lifted his also. When the Pastor said, 'drop your hands its okay we have recorded you. 'The man asked the neighbour what that was for, when he told him, he fainted.''

Q: What's the difference between love and marriage?
A: Love is blind. Marriage is an eye-opener.

I named my eraser Confidence
Because it gets smaller after every mistake I make

"Why did the bring two pairs of pants?"
In case he got a hole in one.

Every time I buy garbage bags, it feels like I am throwing money away"

Honey, if you could learn to cook and clean, we wouldn't need our household services."

The wife replied: "Sure. And if you could learn to satisfy me, we wouldn't need the gardener either."

Why do Communists drink herbal tea?
Because proper tea is theft.

" not sure if its on sale because of cyber monday"

Why did the silly girl \ud83d\udc67 put sugar under her pillow?

She wanted to have sweet dreams. \ud83d\ude02

What did Adam say when he was asked his favorite holiday? It's Christmas Eve."